... Been awhile, huh?
So, first of all a big sorry to not updating this in... well, forever. It was a mix of forgetting, lots of work, doing other things and a general "meh, I'll do it tomorrow" attitude that didn't go too greatly. Anyway, I'm here now, and (hopefully) I intend on updating this a hell of a lot more. Be interesting to see who actually notices, so here it goes...
In two weeks time, I will have finished my BA in English. Completely. Almost everything I have done in the last three years has been for this, and pretty much everyone I have met in the last three years I've met because of this.
Because I have been in the same place they have and they've studied the same thing that I did.
Because I met them on a failed pub quiz/crawl night and played I-Spy in their corridor.
Because they introduced me film and tv that I thought I'd despise but came to adore, and because I helped them home when they got ridiculously drunk on snakebite.
And even though I have another year at university for the MA, knowing that I'm going to be spending it was some amazing and awesome people and staying in such a beautiful place, I had to recognise that all of the above, the last 3 years that have become such a huge chapter in my life, is coming to an end.
And to say the least, it's made me quite sad. Correction: makes me sad. I won't lie, I've spent the last hour or two getting quite thoughtful and crying over it.
The thing is, as well as it all coming to an end, another chapter is going to start, and the whole thing really does make you think: "Shit. Am I doing the right thing? Is it going to be as awesome as I think it is?". If you get too thoughtful or cry too much about it, you start to hope that, somehow, things won't change, and you can stay in this limbo that you know for sure works. Knowing that no new people are going to come in that you have to get to know, that you don't need to try doing anything different, that these places are good and these places are bad and that overall, you never have to do move from this spot on the timeline for the rest of your life.
Of course, where's the fun in that though?
As Alan Watts says in a video that I posted up a while ago (see Music and Life), life is a journey, and it's one that shouldn't stay on a single note. You need the ups and downs and the scary things and the not knowings, otherwise its not a life... Hell, I'm not sure what it is. It's just a moment, a continous moment that is fun, sure, but what good is it if you can't use it for anything else? If you can't look back on it and smile or learn from it or facepalm yourself and wonder why the hell you did it in the first place.
Today, I give you what is quite possibly my favourite poems of all time, and goes for a time like this so well. If you're not sure what's ahead or what's going to happen, then you need to listen to it, or read it, just embrace this poem for everything it's telling you; because it's ok to be scared, and ok to not know, and ok if you might fall behind, and ok to move on from things. You'll miss the past, sure you will, and the present is always temporary until a new one comes along. But don't keep hold of what's happened so much that it stops you from seeing what's ahead :)
Don't worry, it's not some fancy 1600's git that I learned about at university or anything (Although, some of them weren't bad. Some were frigging terrible, but some weren't bad either). In fact, this is probably the first poet that any of us ever heard of, when we were six years old and didn't have a care in the world.
Hope you enjoy it, guys :)
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